LadyPoop is now LadyBusiness

Red Dead Overdose

2010-08-19T16:08:00.006-04:00

Last weekend was a double XP weekend for Red Dead Redemption multiplayer. I had already gotten to level 50 and passed into legend, and decided to take advantage of the opportunity so I could get closer to passing into legend for the fifth and final time. Over the weekend I made it from about 42 in my first time past 50 to level 30 something after having passed into legend again. By Sunday, I was getting really bored and decided I'd let it go and hopefully Rockstar will have another weekend like that when they release more DLC.

I also ended up getting the Legends and Killers Pack, which comes with the a new weapon, the tomahawk, that has some little challenges in singleplayer and some multiplayer character models from the first game. I didn't check out the new multiplayer game modes because I don't have a lot of friends that play the game. It feels kind of expensive for what it is, but that might be because I didn't try the game modes and the last DLC was free.

And just to be sure I would get my outlaw cowboy fill over the weekend, I also watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Zooooooooooooop!

2010-08-10T13:47:00.003-04:00

I decided to go ahead and load my level 57 Vanguard from Mass Effect, Commander Xxyulmzx Shepard, into Mass Effect 2 without doing another playthrough in the first game to get him to 60. I also decided to leave him as a Vanguard so I could try the biotic charge power that Vanguards specialize in, and I'm glad I did because it's super fun. You pick your enemy target and launch yourself at him, knocking him down and damaging him. I love it when the distance between you zips by as you're flying towards him. I can't wait to try it on an enemy that rushes you, like a Krogan. Very fun but you're totally throwing caution to the wind when you use it because you could end up finding yourself surrounded by the enemies you didn't knock over.

"Embrace eternity!"

2010-08-09T12:33:00.007-04:00

I just did a playthrough of the first Mass Effect as Commander Xxyulmzx Shepard (in the future, it will be a trendy first name like Dakota or Madison), with the intention of importing him to Mass Effect 2. I played as a Vanguard, so I could have lots of powers and be trained in the shotgun (and while I used the shotgun, I never put any points toward the skill — it didn't seem like it needed to be any more powerful). I used Wrex and Tali as my away team exclusively, since Wrex is pretty bad ass and I needed Tali to open the locked containers. I played mostly on Veteran and switched it to Hardcore for the final third, but I probably could have played the whole thing on Hardcore since it wasn't very challenging. I also got out of the Mako and fought everything on foot, so I could get the maximum amount of experience points.

When the action got going, things went pretty quickly as a Vanguard, since you're designed to get right up in the enemy's face, so it was pretty fun. I got to level 57, so I might do another playthrough to get to 60 before I import him to Mass Effect 2, so I can get all the bonuses, or I may just make due. I also killed off the Council at the end and let Kaidan die on Virmire (which is different that Commander Stacey Shepard's experience), just to see how it will be different in ME2.

40,000

2010-08-03T08:33:00.005-04:00

I saw that my gamerscore was getting close to 40,000, so I hunted through some old games to try and pick up enough achievements to push it over. I unlocked some in Guitar Hero II and III, which I never play, and some in three Call of Duty games (Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and Call of Duty: World at War), which I stopped playing because they are so frustrating to play on Veteran.

I had never completed Call of Duty 2 because of the goddamned silo mission on Veteran, so I went back and finished the game on Hardened instead. The difference between the two difficulties is huge and I was able to finish the game finally. I also went back and did the missions in Call of Duty 4 that I had done on Regular on Hardened, and they were relatively easy and it was pretty much run and gun. I think the difference between the games are the modern weapons in Call of Duty 4 and I actually kind of enjoyed it. I might even try and go back and finish it on Veteran.

The worst.

2010-07-27T20:39:00.004-04:00

Dear Alan Wake,

Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy. Being terrible and not fun makes Alan a dull boy.

Sincerely,

Not a fan.

Let's get ready to YAWN!

2010-07-26T16:41:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure why I'm doing this to myself, but Alan Wake DLC comes out tomorrow, so I'll be downloading it. Oh wait, I do know why I'm doing it: because it's free and short.

"...does whatever a Spider-Pig does"

2010-07-26T16:15:00.005-04:00

I am not a Spider-Man fan, so I really had no interest in Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions until I saw some of the gameplay footage that shows the four different Spider-Men (Spider-Mans?) you get to play as during the game. Even that wasn't all that compelling to me until I noticed the art direction of the Amazing Spider-Man section, where the animations around his web attacks have a drawn comic book look to them.

I also don't know anything about Spider-Man Noir, but that part has gameplay that focuses on stealth and a black-and-white-when-hidden art direction that seems nice.

Since there's not a lot of games coming out for awhile that I'm interested in, I might be picking this up.

I've got some feedback for you about your date: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

2010-07-26T16:01:00.004-04:00

Some girl in my office is in a nearby cubicle discussing the date she had over the weekend (two Coronas! got a little buzzed! walked a mile down the beach!). It's times like these that I turn to Nurse With Wound's Soliloquy for Lilith, which is really just 106 minutes of feedback.

Oh, the Brütality

2010-07-26T12:05:00.006-04:00

I had stopped playing Brütal Legend a couple days after I got it back in October, at almost the very end of the game, the Sea of Black Tears battle, because I just couldn't stand that RTS part of the game anymore. I had also been doing my first playthrough on Brütal, the hardest difficulty, which wasn't helping. I decided to give it another shot so I could at least pick up some of the achievements I hadn't already unlocked. I stored my Brütal game and started a new game on Normal, which is actually too easy. I found a strategy for the Sea of Black Tears battle and got through it without any problem. The final RTS battle is really confusing, I had no idea what I was looking at or what my objective was at first, but I got through that as well. The final boss battle was pretty easy, especially since I dropped a flaming Zeppelin on his bitch ass.

Changing the difficulty didn't make any of the RTS portions any more fun, just quicker to get through. It's such a shame because the good parts of this game are so good, but the crappy RTS parts are not fun at all.

Glutton for punishment, you are

2010-07-19T12:24:00.004-04:00

I don't know why I thought this would be a good idea, but a friend turned me on to a way to get through Star Wars: The Force ~~Uninteresting~~ Unleashed on Sith Master difficulty with maxed out stats to make it slightly easier, so I decided to try it. The first couple of levels were pretty easy because you can skip most of the level and just do the boss fight. The early boss fights focus on a single Force power to take them down, so they're not too bad if you know what the required power is. Then I got to the dreaded Bull Rancor/Maris "Megabitch" Brood boss fight, and had to stop because it was too tedious and it was making me angry. I know it's probably do-able, but the amount of patience that it requires might be beyond my abilities right now. I also know that I have even more frustrating boss battles after this one if I choose to continue, so I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this playthrough.

Doom generation

2010-07-19T11:47:00.004-04:00

I had two lingering achievements in the first Marvel Ultimate Alliance game. One was for getting gold on all of the simulator missions and the other was for unlocking Silver Surfer by getting at least bronze on all of the simulator missions. Way back when I first played this game (only on Normal and Hard), I had gotten bronze on all the missions, but Silver Surfer didn't unlock, so I used a code to unlock him and I didn't get the achievement. Maybe I only thought I got bronze and missed one. Anyway, I had a hard time with the Spider-Man mission because I never used him in the rest of the game so I wasn't that comfortable using his powers. Also, the Dum Dum guy you're supposed to protect during the mission died every time because he's truly an idiot, so I gave up on any hopes of getting gold.

After that Mass Effect 2 playthrough, I was looking for something dumb and easy so I cleared out my old MUA saves and started over on Easy. I played through the game to the point where I had collected all the simulator discs and then started banging through those missions. The boss fights were a joke, I could march up to the dude and just punch away at him without taking any noticeable damage. I got a tip on how to build Spider-Man's powers, so I got gold on that mission on my second try. I worked my way through all the other missions without any difficulty, except for having to redo Blade because he took too long (because his powers totally suck in the game). Anyway, I unlocked both achievements and now I'm 100% on that game.

Like putting lipstick on a pitbull

2010-07-15T11:02:00.007-04:00

I did it. I totally thought I was going to have to abandon again, but I finally finished my Insanity playthrough of Mass Effect 2, fuck yeah, U.S.A. It was so difficult and frustrating and took forever, but now all my Mass Effect 2 dreams have come true.

From my last post about this, I just had a few loyalty missions and recruitments left. The recruitment and loyalty mission for Samara was a piece of cake. Legion's recruitment was much easier than I remembered it, maybe because I was sort of seasoned by the time I got to it. I had saved Tali's missions for the end because I remember her recruitment mission being sort of difficult, and it totally is. So annoying and frustrating until I found just the right spot to put myself to take out the boss. I reached level 30 and everyone was recruited and loyal, so I thought it was time to do the final mission.

Before I restarted this playthrough, I did a little research and read that the best way to do the game on Insanity is to play as a Soldier or Sentinel, so I went with Sentinel. I also read that warp ammo is a good choice for your bonus power, which I chose and it worked pretty well. I also read that dominate (which is like AI hacking, but for organic beings) is a good choice too, which you can unlock if you choose to side with Samara's daughter in Samara's loyalty quest. So I unlocked it and then went back and sided with Samara because her daughter is a little bitch and I didn't want her on my ship. Anyway, for the very last mission on the Collector base I switched from warp ammo to dominate and it was kind of awesome (I fully upgraded it and chose area dominate, so I could convert more than one at a time). At one point I was even lucky enough to dominate a Collector that became occupied by the Harbinger, so I had the Harbinger blasting away his own dudes for a bit. Anyway, I would highly recommend dominate for the mission.

I also almost exclusively used Kasumi and Zaeed as my away team during the rest of the game, because you can do their loyalty missions as soon as you recruit them and they seemed to compliment my Sentinel fine. Only Zaeed's mission is a little tricky because it has a stupid YMIR robot at the end — those robots ruin everything, ruiners — but this time I found a much better place to position myself than all the other times I had done it. Anyway, for the last leg of the final mission, those two weren't holding up so well, so I retried it with Grunt and Jack and they worked better (Jack went down a bit, but Grunt was solid). Jack's warp ammo for barriers and Grunt's incendiary ammo for armor and flesh is a decent combo.

So it turns out the real secret to completing the game on Insanity is bringing the right heavy weapon to the goddamned awful final boss battle and having all the upgrades for it. It's recommended that you bring the M-920 Cain, which is pretty much a one-shot nuclear blast that does massive damage, unless you find all the ammo upgrades, then you can get two shots out of it. Well, I missed one of the upgrades and couldn't go back for it. I actually missed two, but restarted from a saved game after getting my ass kicked in the final battle and went back for one of them, which you get from a side mission I had skipped. So with my almost fully upgraded M-920 Cain, I got to the final battle. I shot the boss for a bit, and I had a lot of practice doing this because I had been trying for hours to get through this one part. Then I fired my M-920 Cain and got one shot in. I had enough ammo left that I only needed one more ammo drop from a fallen Harbinger this time (before I had needed like three, which was impossible for me to survive long enough to get), which I got and I felt a rush as I scrambled to get my last shot with Cain in before I was killed.

Anyway, this was probably the hardest video game thing I've ever successfully completed and I'm so glad it's over. I had given up so many times, reached so many parts that I thought I wasn't going to be able to get through, had to retry sections with different options only to fail and have to try again, screamed at my TV a bunch, and cursed the developers, but I finally did it.

Die, All Right!

2010-07-13T12:12:00.005-04:00

I was in high spirits when I continued my playthrough of Mass Effect 2, since I was certain I had gotten over a major roadblock in my Insanity playthrough. I continued working on recruiting my crew and doing their loyalty missions. After doing Mordin's loyalty mission, I decided to go back to the ship and research my most recent upgrades. From there I was forced into visiting a derelict Collector ship, even though I hadn't finished recruiting everyone yet and wasn't fully leveled up. I guess it was because I had recruited the DLC people, so the game must go by the number of people you've ~~tricked~~ convinced to sign up and not who they are. Anyway, the mission was maybe the most difficult video game thing I've done.

I failed the first battle on the moving platforms so many times. I went back and changed my away team, heavy weapon, and even the bonus weapon you get to learn before you get there (I wanted the sniper, but I still think it's pretty useless on this difficulty, so I went with assault rifle) many times. My party was dying instantly and I would run out of medi-gel to revive them, the enemy's heavy weapons monster was messing me up and the Harbinger would keep knocking me out of the scrap of cover I had. I was getting super frustrated and thought I might have to give up.

I finally managed to get through the fight by firing my M-920 Cain as soon as their platform lined up with mine, killing or at least injuring everyone. That was just enough time to get rid of the scion on the other platform that was tearing me up before more jerks arrived. Then I just kept firing warp at the Harbinger(s), both from me and my teammmates at the same time, until we cleaned them out.

So then I was working my way through the rest of the ship, the encounters were hard but manageable. Then I got to the part where you drop down and suddenly you're trapped in a giant room with a praetorian, the giant blue cockroach thing I encountered the other day. I started dying again, over and over, and started to get concerned that I wasn't going to be able to get past it. I was out of ammo for the Cain and it was impossible to fight the bug and the other miscellaneous enemies. I finally got through it and I'm still not really sure how I did it.

Anyway, after that I went to do some other missions and everything was super easy. There's one mission to rescue and operative that's just some bad guys in a tiny building on a planet that I remember being really hard in other playthroughs (probably because I had attempted it too soon). This time it was a total cakewalk, I barely even stayed in cover. Even Garrus' loyalty mission with the two giant robots in disguise and recruiting Samara with all the annoying Asari and the giant helicopter were much easier than I ever remember them being.

Now I only have to recruit Legion and Tali and do their loyalty missions and the loyalty missions for Samara and Grunt. I also need to finish the other DLC stuff and all the other side missions I haven't explored yet.

Born of frustration

2010-07-12T16:42:00.003-04:00

I just went back and looked at all of my posts about this damn Mass Effect 2 Insanity playthrough that's been giving me so much grief. I've gotten further than any other attempt, and I have a better strategy and the right tools this time, so I should be glad I don't have to be such a crybaby anymore. Who knows though, that all may change tomorrow — I seem to remember the battles with the Asari bitches to be kind of a hassle and I have yet to do them in this playthrough.

Kasumi, I luuuuuuuuuv u!

2010-07-12T10:51:00.003-04:00

I had downloaded the last two DLCs for Mass Effect 2 and not played them because I had a semi-abandoned Insanity playthrough of the game that was just too hard. On my first playthrough, I had imported Commander Stacey Shepard from ME1 and made her an Infiltrator so I could use the sniper and the cloaking ability. That worked out fine for the first playthrough on Normal, but when I tried to do it on Insanity, the sniper became pretty useless since I was almost always out of ammo (well, those heat sink things, that aren't really ammo but determine how many shots you have in your gun). Cloaking was good for skipping sections of the game that were too hard (like the awful prison break battles when recruiting Jack), but not really that helpful during a boss battle. I had quit in the middle of trying to recruit the Krogan because I was sick of turning every corner only to have some endless battle where I would end up with nothing to fire at my enemies besides my powers.

I did a little research on the interwebs and read that the best class for Insanity is either Sentinel (with the shield on steroids) or Soldier. I decided to go with Sentinel and imported Stacey again from ME1 to get all the bonuses (for both importing from ME1 and having already completed the game). While this playthrough is still super difficult in places, it's so much easier than what I was trying to do before. I went to recruit Kasumi from the Kasumi's Stolen Memory DLC, and when I saw her shadow strike ability (she cloaks herself, runs behind enemy lines, smacks some bitch down, and sneaks back) I instantly fell in love. Then I did her loyalty mission which unlocked a new bad ass SMG which is so much better than the one I had been stuck with. Every time I tell her to use her shadow strike, I actually watch her do it because it's too awesome. So she is always on my away team. I've also bring bringing Zaeed, from the first DLC along, even though I never really used him before, because I like his fireball ability and was also able to do his loyalty mission right away. So now that I have the right class, better weapons, and the right people, this Insanity playthrough is going much better.

But just because it's going better, doesn't mean it isn't still crazy hard. I got to the boss battle on Horizon, where you first encounter the Collector that inhabits the bodies of his minions. I struggled to get through the first few waves with a lot of frustration. When I finally did it and got to a cutscene, I was like, "Oh yay, I finally made it," only to come out of the cutscene to a giant blue cockroach the size of a Winnebago shooting lasers out of his eyes. It's been so long since I've played that I forgot what to expect next. Anyway, I eventually managed to eek my way through, but only because I happened to position myself so that the bug would stop flying around, which I've noticed is sometimes the only way to beat these boss battles.

Now I'm onto the second game disc, recruiting the next batch of ~~losers~~ teammates, and I feel like I have a chance of actually getting all the way through this time.

Needs more magnetism

2010-07-12T10:34:00.003-04:00

I worked on completing the new sim missions from the DLC for Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 and unlocking all the achievements this weekend. I was also able to finally unlock my last achievement for the game, get gold on all 12 original sim missions, which I was really having a problem with. I figured out the right teams to bring on some of the missions and what I needed to do to get gold on a few others (I didn't know I to stay on the glowing pad on Command to keep earning points). Anyway, 100% on that game now, bitchez.

Karate CHOP!

2010-07-09T13:10:00.003-04:00

The DLC for Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 is back after having gone missing since January. It includes five new playable characters (Black Panther, Psylocke, Cable, Magneto, and Carnage) and four new simulator missions. It's been a long time since I've played the game, so it took me a bit to get re-acclimated. Besides the new achievements that come with the DLC, I had one outstanding achievement for getting gold on the original 12 simulator missions. There were a few missions I hadn't gold-ed yet and had kind of given up on, but after a little interwebs research, I got some tips on how to get a higher score on them. Now I just have two of the originals left and two achievements for the DLC and then I'll be done. It may not be the best game ever, but it's hard for me not to like a game where you get to play as Marvel superheroes.

Dun dun dun dun duh-dun dun duh-dun

2010-07-06T12:51:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, as I walk around my office, I hear Darth Vader's theme in my head.

Alan Wake. More like, Alan, wake me when it's over... amirite, ladies?

2010-07-06T08:00:00.011-04:00

You know how in horror movies the characters spend most of their time running away from whatever is chasing them? Well, Alan Wake would be dead in the first few minutes because the dude can't run for more than ten seconds. This is one of the many frustrating and annoying things that makes Alan Wake my least favorite game I've purchased since Dead Rising. I've already made my position on Alan Wake clear (here and here), but here are some more random thoughts after finishing the game in both Advanced and Nightmare modes...

Alan can't sprint for any reasonable amount of time. He also can't sprint while carrying a flare or talking. It's never explained that he smokes or has asthma or any other condition that would prevent him from being able to run, and it's incredibly annoying. I spent a lot of time yelling, "Run, you stupid bitch!" at my TV.

The game is divided into six episodes and most of the episodes start with a crazysuperboring sequence where you do things like follow someone around and listen to them talk or turn on a coffeemaker. The most annoying one is where you're trapped in an insane asylum that's also a fancy wilderness lodge (a lodge with a hedge maze, because that's what crazy people want, a hedge maze) and you have to follow a doctor around forever and listen to him yak. These sequences should have been handled in cutscenes.

The physics for the cars are just terrible. Your car will fishtail the same on any surface, in the field, on a dirt road, on the highway, in a box with a fox with a mouse in a house. It's like the ground below you turns into ice as soon as you get in the driver's seat. Also, all of the cars feel like they're powered with two AA batteries.

The combat goes like this: you have a gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other. You have to burn the shadows off your enemies with the light before you can shoot them. Bigger enemies have more shadow and take more bullets. You can also burst your flashlight to work faster but it runs your battery down and needs time to recharge. This ends up being really annoying because the flashlight is so weak, even on Normal difficulty, and putting new batteries in doesn't immediately restore it to 100%. Energizer is a marketing partner in real life. I guess they didn't look closely at how the batteries work in the game before they signed on because I walked away thinking, "If I'm ever chased by shadow dudes, I'm going to break out an old fashioned torch of fire and throw it at their bitch asses." (Verizon is also an in-game marketing partner, which is funny because there are lots of dead phones in the game)

There's also a weak autotargeting mechanic during combat that's just strong enough to target the wrong enemy when you're surrounded, which sucks when it's targeting the shadow dude that doesn't have the shadows removed yet. Please just let me target on my own because you're doing it wrong. Also, your meter for determining how much shadow is removed is the narrowing of your flashlight beam and a sound. It's seriously not enough information when there's more than one enemy.

The game is sort of framed as a TV show, so there's lots of "dramatic moments." During combat, if someone attacks you and you dodge the attack, you get one of these slowdown moments. You will also get one of these annoying moments if you light a flare when surrounded and the camera pans around you, which is disorienting when it's done. There's also a bunch of them when something dramatic happens in the game, like a boat falling out of the sky, which sucks when you're being chased or in the middle of throwing a flashbang. Pick one speed, developers, it's not as dramatic as you think it is, it's just disruptive.

There's no continuity of weapons between episodes; it's inconsistent between chapters. If I used my flaregun sparingly or upgraded my flashlight in the previous episode or chapter, let me keep it or at least explain why I don't have it anymore.

In one section, you're with your wife's "kidnapper" fighting off shadow dudes. He has the gun and you have the flashlight, so you have to burn the shadows off for him. He's a terrible shot and spends more time reloading than killing. He also wastes time shooting shadow dudes that don't have the shadows burned off yet while unshadowed dude is standing over there. There's another section where you and the sheriff (props to the developers for making her a lady) have to fight your way through the haunted town. She's also terrible but at least you're also armed. But it's to protect and serve, bitch! Why am I doing your job?

I'm not crazy about the voice acting, especially when Alan Wake is narrating to himself so it sounds like he's reading from a book, which I can only guess was intentional. While the environments look good but repetitive, the characters look terrible. If you can't make good looking hair, either make everyone bald or give them hats. And surprisingly, the cutscenes look worse than the gameplay.

The game is full of awful dialogue like, "The kidnapper had sent me a text. The message was full of spelling errors and insults. It was telling me to hurry up," which happens to be my favorite awful dialogue from the game. The game is also full of way too many writing clichés. Alan wears a tweed blazer with leather elbow patches, he collects thermoses of coffee, he writes on a typewriter, etc. Between the coffee and his GBF that's also his publicist, it's hard to tell if the game is trying to be serious or a joke or something in between. Actually, Barry, the GBF/publicist was the only character I liked in the game, so maybe the game would have been more fun if it didn't take itself so seriously.

Also, after thoroughly enjoying Darksiders, which is pretty linear but also gives you freedom to explore, Alan Wake is super linear, which is a downer. As you're working you way through the linear maps there are also a couple of puzzles (like, move these logs to make a bridge), but they practically solve themselves, so "puzzle" isn't even the right word to describe them. Meanwhile, some of Darksider's puzzles made me feel like I was actually figuring something out.

Anyway, I finished the game and unlocked all the achievements because I payed good money for this overhyped disappointment. Worst. Episode. Ever.

War never changes.

2010-06-22T12:54:00.003-04:00

I put down Alan Wake a few chapters in to try out the other game I got, Darksiders. I'm so glad I did because Darksiders is totally fun: a little bit Batman: Arkham Asylum, a little bit X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and a small touch of Portal (no, for serious). It's all button mashing and puzzle solving while playing as War, which you may remember from such horsemen as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I read that they're working on the sequel, which I would assume would include the three other horsemen, since you don't get to meet them in this game.

I started my first playthrough on the hardest difficulty setting, Apocalyptic, but about an hour in I encountered an enemy that pretty much killed me with two strikes, so I aborted that playthrough and played through on Normal and unlocked the special armor that makes the Apocalyptic difficulty much easier. I finished that Normal playthrough and am working on the Apocalyptic one and unlock my last few achievements. Anyway, it's been a fun ride and I'll be sad when I finish. Hurry up with that sequel, bitchez!

35,000

2010-06-17T16:47:00.005-04:00

I haven't really been paying attention but my gamerscore passed 35,000. It must have happend several weeks ago while I was playing Splinter Cell: Conviction.

Another missing page found

2010-06-17T15:12:00.003-04:00

Chapter 8

I wandered through the dark woods, avoiding the glowing bear traps. I noticed there were a lot of them, grouped together, right on the path through the trees as if someone that knew nothing about setting bear traps placed them illegally in a national park. I wondered to myself, in my head, using my droning and hypnotic inner monologue voice, if I should be more concerned about the shadow men of various sizes I'd been encountering, or these bears I've yet to see.

Suddenly time slowed down and I was surrounded by shadow men. As a shadow drenched lumberjack swung his lumberjack sword of shadows — or ax — at me, time suddenly return to normal. Since I exist in the third person, yet a little too close to effectively see what's going on anywhere that's not directly in front of me, the strike was difficult to dodge but I managed to avoid it, thereby slowing down time for dramatic effect before suddenly returning to normal and keeping me off balance. All of the changes in the speed of time made me think of my recently kidnapped wife, Alice.

Alice and I had gotten into an argument back at the cabin, on the island that doesn't exist, in the lake of blackness that rests in the remains of an ancient volcano, about how I haven't written anything for two years, despite having published at least six books by the time I was 32. I was already in a foul mood because I had encountered fans in the nearby town that were complimentary to my work. First, there was the late night DJ from the local radio station that rests on an ancient Indian burial ground where the wife of a mysterious stranger was burned as a witch 200 years ago on that very night. The DJ had the nerve to politely ask for me to stop by the station at my convenience for an interview. Then, like smearing salt in the open wound that is my writer's block-filled soul, the simple waitress at the local diner proclaimed to be my number one fan and smiled at me. Later, at the mysterious cabin, Alice surprised me with a typewriter. I stormed out of the cabin in a fury like a child having a temper tantrum. Was she trying to say my work was dated and clichéd like a writer with a typewriter in a cabin in the woods with a fox in a box near the mouse in the house?

I couldn't think about my wife, Alice, who had been recently kidnapped, anymore because I realized I had run out of ammunition for my pistol and I was still surrounded by shadow men. I tried to run but not only were the shadow men faster, I was only able to sprint for 15 feet before I was overcome with exhaustion, struggling for breath. Did I have asthma or was I encumbered by my ill-fitting polygon clothes? Could it be the 15 thermoses of coffee I had collected? I thought to myself, "I was in the throes of an existential crisis. One that not even the sight of this season's Dolce & Gabbana strappy sandals could lift me out of."

An incomplete manuscript

2010-06-17T11:11:00.009-04:00

Chapter 1

As I put the disc into the console, I wondered to myself, in a slightly monotone inner monologue voice, where the game that someone named after me, Alan Wake, had come from. I looked at the packing slip in the box and saw I had ordered it from Amazon.com just the day before. But why? And where was my kidnapped wife, Alice? Who had been kidnapped. And was named Alice.

While watching the opening cinematic, I was immediately taken aback by the poor quality of the graphics for the characters, which was made even more glaring when contrasted to the fairly decently rendered environments. Why would someone work so hard to make forest mist but spend so little time making me look human? I could see that this was turning from a simple thriller into a polygon nightmare. I collected a thermos of coffee, despite already finding one a few minutes before, and wondered where I was carrying all these thermoses and why I could only carry 24 bullets for my pistol. Clearly, dark forces were at work here. Were these the same forces that had kidnapped my wife, Alice, whose acute nyctophobia should be treated by a trained psychologist before heading into the woods, where most power sources are unreliable?

Chapter 2

I grew frustrated with the game's combat mechanic. I wondered to myself, in my increasingly monotonous inner voice, why a flashlight with fresh batteries would perform so poorly; the switch is either on or off — it's not like mood lighting at my favorite restaurant back in New York where I would take my recently kidnapped wife, Alice. Which led me to thinking about Alice, and her phobia of the dark — which turned out to be as ironic as having 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife — and her kidnapping from an island that doesn't exist in a lake that's an extinct volcano and probably also an ancient Indian burial ground where the teenagers died exactly ten years ago on this night... and something, something, something, werewolves.

Chapter 3

After completing a couple chapters, I decided to review the seemingly random pages of a manuscript I had collected that are supposed to give insight to the mysterious goings-on, but actually feel like interruptions. While I was pleased to see that I could review the pages, I was distressed to realize that it wasn't possible to have them play automatically. It was like reading one page of a book and putting it away, only to pick it up immediately to read the next page. I quickly abandoned the idea of sitting back and exploring the story while I ate my Greek salad and thought about my recently kidnapped wife, Alice. I recalled the time I flashed back two years to remember a happier time in our apartment together. I suddenly realized that I had been wearing the same ill-fitting tweed polygon blazer with leather elbow patches that I'm wearing now. As I explored our apartment in my flashback, the mystery of my single outfit became more terrifying when I opened the closet to reveal that it was empty! Had the same evil shadows that abducted my wife also been responsible for taking all my Dockers? And I asked myself, "If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. ... Hallmark doesn't make a 'congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy' card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?" I suddenly wondered why I was channeling Carrie Bradshaw. Clearly, this world I entered into was pure, tacky evil. Insert Stephen King reference here.

B-b-b-b-butterface

2010-06-15T13:38:00.004-04:00

I downloaded the free DJ Hero 2 Lady Gaga/deadmau5 mix the other day. It's pretty meh. I can't decide if I'm interested in DJ Hero 2. I saw a partial artist list which included Justice, The Chemical Brothers, M.I.A., Gorillaz, and Daft Punk and realized that most of the people I like are already in the first game. I guess it all depends on the quality of the mixes and the ability to preview them before buying the game.

What becomes a legend most?

2010-06-15T13:26:00.002-04:00

After reaching level 50 in Red Dead Redemption multiplayer, I kind of ran out of stuff to do. I wasn't going to do it, but I decided to choose the "pass into legend" option, where you level up to 50 again, losing all your weapons and mounts and having to reacquire them but being able to keep your unlocked characters and titles. I can see the from the blacked out legendary characters that the fifth one is a lady, which is really tempting. I've been playing as Alice Thayer, who reminds me a little of Angela Basset in a Vivienne Westwood dress and corset. My favorite expression of hers is, "Hope you told your family goodbye!" Anyway, I like Alice, so I'm not sure I'm going to do the legend thing four more times just to get the other lady and the zebra donkey, but we'll see.

Something, something, something, Darksiders

2010-06-09T13:29:00.004-04:00

Now that I have some time until the Red Dead Redemption comes out, I'm searching for a new game. I had originally planned on picking up Alan Wake, but I tried the demo for Darksiders and kind of liked it. It's a mix of button mashing combat and platformer puzzle solving and maybe a little dumb. I'm getting a little weary of games that have low replay value, so I might try and pick up Darksiders and Alan Wake used instead of new.

Yoink

2010-06-09T13:22:00.002-04:00

I finally got around to banging through the Splinter Cell: Conviction DLC with a friend of mine. I was surprised how large the new maps are, although I noticed that I was going through the levels without exploring at all. It was sort of frustrating after weeks of Red Dead Redemption to jump back into Splinter Cell's awkward control layout. I had to ask my friend how to manually reload my gun, because I had totally forgotten how and it's not obvious. Anyway, the DLC is okay but not really breaking any new ground.

Yeehaw, 100%

2010-06-09T13:11:00.002-04:00

I unlocked my "final" achievement in Red Dead Redemption this weekend, which was for getting to level 50 in multiplayer. But it's not really final since the co-op DLC in two weeks will come with more achievements to unlock.

Please have "Crazy Train," please have "Crazy Train"

2010-06-09T13:03:00.003-04:00

When I saw they are coming out with a six-song Ozzy track pack for Rock Band, I thought to myself, "Of course it will include 'Crazy Train.'" Yeah, well, it doesn't. It does have "No More Tears," which I am down with, but the rest of it is meh: "Let Me Hear You Scream," "Diggin' Me Down," "Soul Sucker," "I Don't Wanna Stop," and "Crazy Babies."

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

2010-06-01T14:37:00.003-04:00

So I not only finished my playthrough of Red Dead Redemption, but I also got a 100% stat for the game (for completing all the extra stuff) and I'm almost to level 50 with my multiplayer character. I really like the game, despite some weak parts and missed opportunities in both the singleplayer and multiplayer, and look forward to what the upcoming co-op DLC has to offer.

I love the sandbox free roam of both modes of the game. The freedom to tool around the map and do what you want when you feel like it is awesome. And because of all the wildlife and strangers asking for help (or trying to trick you), it feels like there's lots to do. Unfortunately, it's a little less impressive in the multiplayer, since it's missing wild horses, your lasso, trains, and strangers. The multiplayer needs more stuff to do related to the free roam, but it's still pretty fun. I made a game out of shooting cops from the roof of Rathskeller Fork with a friend and was fully entertained even though we were just goofing off. In the singleplayer, after I had done everything, I started tying people up in saloons and setting them on fire just to cause mischief.

The story is pretty good and John Marston feels a little more fully formed than Niko from GTA IV. The story sort of lags toward the end with a bunch of missions that take the momentum out of what's going on, but the ending is a nice twist (although you're left wondering what you're supposed to be doing next). I don't know if I had been up too late playing, but I thought the end was kind of touching. Like GTA IV, the people you encounter are sort of crazy caricatures that are a bit over the top, which maybe is necessary in video games. The exception is Bonnie, the rancher's daughter you meet in the beginning that gives you the tutorial missions. I like her character and wish she was in the game more.

Since you don't have friends calling you all the time asking to do crap like in GTA IV, you're free to explore the map and take jobs or gamble. I don't like any of missions or side missions/jobs invloving following a dog. I didn't like horseshoes at first until I got the hang of it, and I liked the Texas Hold 'Em from the beginning and felt like I was learning to play something I can play in real life. I hate Liar's Dice and the stab the knife around you fingers game is irritating. It looks like Beecher's Hope is set up with a poker table and horseshoes, so I'm guessing that will be available in the co-op missions, but I don't understand why it isn't part of the multiplayer. Also missing from multiplayer: looting bodies for money that converts to experience points (and skinning animals), trains, and bounty jobs. I also wish the gang hideout missions would scale up the number of enemies depending on how many people are doing the mission.

Also, something that's curiously missing from both modes of the game: racing. There's one racing mission and that's it. I see so much potential for stagecoach/wagon/buggy/horse races and foot races through predator infested wilderness in both singleplayer and multiplayer, that I'm shocked they didn't include it beyond the one mission.

All my "old man yells at cloud" aside, I really like this game, which should be obvious from the crazy amount of hours I've put into it since it came out. I just see a lot of places where I could have liked it even more.

If it moves, shoot it

2010-05-20T11:20:00.003-04:00

I went and picked up my copy of Red Dead Redemption at midnight on Monday and have pretty much been fully immersed in it. I started out with the singleplayer story but after a little bit I switched to the private free roam mode and started earning XP for my character. In the list of women, Madama Hernandez is the only one that unlocked for me, even at level 17 or whatever I'm at now. The second to last one is either a prostitute or a Native American, judging but the feather in her hair, but I'm not sure how much XP I need to unlock her.

I like that I can free roam by myself or have a friend join my session and leave at any point and the world keeps turning. Last night a friend and I were driving a stagecoach along the roads and shooting people off their horses and then running them over to work on the stagecoach challenges. When he left, I was still able to continue with the same stagecoach we were driving.

I've finished all the hunting challenges. They did a good job of making some of the animals like cougars and bears kind of terrifying. You're wandering around and if you don't listen carefully, suddenly you get mauled from behind by a cougar and die. While the hunting is fun, you can also hunt for stuff in the game that I would never shoot in real life like owls, hawks, eagles, and crows. In the singleplayer you can skin these animals and sell the meat and pelts, while in free roam you just shoot stuff and it dies and that's it.

Who Killed Mr. Moonlight Mr. Three Dog?

2010-05-17T12:31:00.004-04:00

I started another playthrough of Fallout 3. This time I'm Angus McCloud ("Wait a minute! There's no Angus McCloud in North Kilttown! Why, you're not from Scotland at all!"), serial murderer and cannibal. I've been working my way across the Wasteland using my fists and tastebuds and occasionally some explosives. I picked up the Cannibal perk, which I had never used before, and I've been eating every person I've come across, whether I've killed them or not. I've also been using the Sandman perk, that let's you murder people in their sleep, and my goal is to murder everyone I can in their sleep, eat them, and hawk all their belongings. I've pretty much emptied Rivet City and Megaton of all their delicious residents and hopefully I'll get to Tenpenny Tower before Red Dead Redemption comes out tomorrow.

I was especially amused when after killing the sometimes annoying DJ, Three Dog, his voice was replaced on the station with Margaret, the technician. I love that between every song she reminds listeners that Three Dog has been murdered and that she's not up to the task of replacing him. And frankly, I don't miss him because I remember his news reports from other playthroughs where he lets the Wasteland know what a terrible person I am. Bon appetit!

"Hey, man."

2010-05-11T13:59:00.005-04:00

So Broken Social Scene at Webster Hall on Friday was kickass. I passed Kevin Drew on the street outside on my way in and gave him a little wave and he said, "Hey, man." I took the crappy photo above with my crappy iPhone camera.

Teh Riches

2010-05-11T13:48:00.004-04:00

I ain't gots no cable or nuthin' so I never saw The Riches when it was on the air, but I came across the two seasons of it on Netflix the other day and couldn't stop watching them until I'd seen them all. While the writing is a little uneven sometimes, and things aren't completely thought out (how does the grandma that they stole from the nursing home care for herself all alone during the day?), the acting is good and the premise is awesome (grifters — or travellers, as they're called — steal the identities of dead people and move into a gated community... with sexy results). The world needs more shows like this.

You're doing it wrong

2010-05-11T13:34:00.003-04:00

They released Judas Priest's British Steel for Rock Band today, which I would totally buy except that the version they released is the special 30th anniversary live version. I have a rule about buying live tracks for Rock Band (the rule is I don't), and I'm very disappointed because "Breaking the Law" is one of my favorite Judas Priest songs. And I guess this means that we'll never see the real version of British Steel.

Now with twice the dead eyes!

2010-05-11T13:27:00.003-04:00

I pre-orderd my copy of Red Dead Redemption yesterday so I could get the Deadly Assassin Outfit (for double Dead Eye regeneration). I guess they don't just give it to you though, it seems you need to complete some tasks to earn it. Anyway, I'm excited for this game.

"All right, read me back what I have so far, Mrs. Krabapatra." or Rome If You Want To

2010-05-11T12:52:00.008-04:00

There's an Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood sitelet that previews some of the new weapons in the upcoming installment of the story of the little assassin that could (set in Rome this time). There's a dagger (oooo! unexpected), a prosthetic claw arm thingy, an axe (subtle), a fan (no, for reals, a fan... with razors!), a syringe (one would assume it's filled with... poison!), and then a secret weapon that you have to unlock by collecting some codes to reveal. "Bird, bird, giant eye, pyramid, bird." "Mmm-hmm, very good. Uh, giant eye, dead fish, cat head, cat head, cat head, guy doing this..." Anyway, spoiler alert and whatnot, but it's a switchblade. How this is better than the hidden wrist blade thing from the other two games, I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out when we lie down in the WABAC machine.

Oh, and unlocking the last weapon also lets you download some wallpaper for you computer. Don't bother.

Anyway, I read a little about the game's multiplayer (which sounds like the BioShock 2 multiplayer) and I assume the fan and the photo below means you can finally play as a lady. If you pre-order it from GameStop, you can play as ~~Krusty the Clown~~ a harlequin.

Mission Accomplished

2010-05-05T14:33:00.002-04:00

I unlocked all the achievements for Splinter Cell: Conviction last night and now I have no reason to keep playing. I started off liking the game, but the more I played it, the more I felt like it was just okay. The singleplayer story doesn't make that much sense to me. The co-op "story" doesn't really feel like a story. And the Last Stand game mode feels out of place with the stealth elements of the game. It isn't a terrible game, but it's also not a stellar game.

Two things I do like is the Hunter co-op game mode. I actually enjoyed completing those with my friend, although some maps were more fun than others. I also loved the ending to the co-op story mode, although it can really only be enjoyed once. That ending is a stroke of brilliance that isn't carried out throughout the game, which is a shame.

"It's on MY FACE!"

2010-05-05T11:41:00.004-04:00

With the new DLC for Left 4 Dead 2, The Passing, Valve also introduced an update to the game. They did things like decrease the amount of damage melee weapons do to a Tank and other housekeeping stuff, which is understandable. They also did some stuff that's become really annoying.

My biggest complaint is that they changed the weapon array at the start of the level. People that preorded the game got the luxury of always having a bat available for everyone as a melee weapon and now it's gone. You get maybe one or two melee weapons and that's it — sometimes you get nothing. If I were someone that preordered the game, I would be livid. However, I'm just someone that plays with a friend that preodered it, so I'm just irritated.

Speaking of weapons, it feels like they've become more stingy with the better weapons. Also, your pistols suck. FIX THEM.

When playing Versus, they added in bots to cover for missing infected players when they drop out of the game. This sounds like a good idea, but the distribution of the types of special infected isn't working well. You should never encounter two Smokers at a time (literally standing next to each other), for example, and now that seems to happen frequently. Even if they don't appear together, you will get a succession of the same special infected back to back, a Hunter attack, followed by another Hunter attack, followed by another Hunter attack. It seems like they fixed a problem by breaking something that was working.

One other major problem is the server connections. We never used to have problems with the game disconnecting from the server and now it seems to happen with alarming frequency. We were playing Versus in The Passing last night and I got disconnected from Xbox Live each time we switched sides. Other times we all get dumped back into the lobby because of server issues.

I still like Left 4 Dead 2, but with all the multiplayer options in Red Dead Redemption, I have a feeling I'll be playing a lot less of it once Red Dead Redemption comes out.

Alan Wake Redemption or Red Dead Wake

2010-05-04T14:50:00.002-04:00

So in two weeks, Red Dead Redemption and Alan Wake will both come out on the same day. Since I'm only going to have one new game at a time, I've decided to go with Red Dead Redemption first, mostly because of the sound of the gunshots in this video:

They had me at, "This is your game lobby..." I'm also excited for the opportunity to play as a Native American. Alan Wake will have to wait.

Needs more radioactive zombie showgirls

2010-05-04T14:29:00.002-04:00

I've been reading about first impressions of Fallout New Vegas on Kotaku and Joystiq and it's getting me all excited for the game, even though it's not supposed to come out until the end of the year (fingers crossed).

Keep reaching

2010-05-04T14:18:00.001-04:00

I sat through the long and boring download to play the Halo: Reach beta last night. I think I enjoyed the wait more than the actual gameplay. Maybe I've just outgrown Halo, but I still feel like nothing they've done with the franchise is any better than the first game. And that's for both the campaign and the multiplayer. This might be first non-Halo Wars Halo game I'm going to pass on.

Caught in a bad outfit romance

2010-04-26T15:21:00.003-04:00

Sista Sista Act 2 got together for margaritas and Lady Gaga on Friday. The combination produced some awful/awesome outfits that might be the worst/best we've ever had in Rock Band. That above image is of (left to right) Sweet Loretta, Chablé Spritzer, and Mo'ka LaTay. Oh yeah, we played music too.

"It's a-me, Mario!"

2010-04-26T14:18:00.005-04:00

I started another playthrough of Assassin's Creed II yesterday. I finally got around to checking out the Ubisoft's Uplay stuff you could download for Splinter Cell: Conviction, and saw there was a bonus map for Assassin's Creed II that I didn't have, which is the Auditore Family Crypt. I decided to do a new playthrough because I wanted to experience all the DLC integrated into the rest of the game. Anyway, in my new playthrough I got the part where you encounter Uncle Mario, and I don't know how I missed it the first time, but he says, "It's a-me, Mario!" Nicely done, Ubisoft.

I was having some trouble with my Uplay points. I had unlocked everything between Assassin's Creed II and Splinter Cell, but it wasn't putting all the points into my account, so I couldn't collect all my rewards. I just got off the phone with the nice people at Ubisoft and they fixed it, so now I can collect my extra knives and such in Assassin's Creed II when I get home.

And so it begins ends...

2010-04-22T11:03:00.002-04:00

I had two achievements left in Fable II, related to combat in the Colosseum from the See the Future DLC, that I had sort of given up on because you really need another person to do them with. I hadn't played the game in so long and I kind of forgot how to play, so I decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Anyway, thanks to TrueAchievements.com, someone got in touch with me to help them get some achievements they needed and in return they helped me get the last two I needed. So now I've 100%-ed the game. Yay.

Where, where the hell is Bill?

2010-04-22T10:30:00.004-04:00

I managed to squeeze one co-op game of The Passing, the new DLC for Left 4 Dead 2 that includes guest appearances by the survivors of Left 4 Dead, before work this morning. It reminds me a bit of Crash Course, the DLC for Left 4 Dead, mostly because it's only three chapters and that it's full of goodies like grenades and pills — maybe a little too full if you're trying to play as infected in Versus mode but we'll see. You pass through a seedy part of town with tattoo parlors and biker bars, and the biker zombies gave me a laugh. I didn't have a chance to try anything besides the one co-op playthrough, so I'm still not sure what the Mutation mode is — I guess I'll find out tonight.

One thing that's sort of irritating is that it seems like they made the AI even dumber, which is actually sort of impressive because it was already pretty stupid. The finale is similar to the end of Dead Center, where you have to collect a bunch of gas cans to fuel your escape, but this time the cans are spread out across a bigger area. For some reason, the AI-controlled characters were constantly wandering off on their own. I would be be done dropping off a gas can — unescorted, thanks a bunch, AI — and I would see that way off in the distance, far from everyone else, one of the AI losers were being torn apart by a Hunter. There were only two of us playing, so it seems like one AI dude should have been following me around and the other should have been following my friend, but that would require intelligence. It really seems more broken than it ever did.

Speaking of the AI, and this was a problem before, I don't necessarily always want to be healed by AI characters when my health reaches 30%. I would like control over when the AI decides it's time to heal. When we play Versus, we don't usually heal until we've gone down once, in order to get the most from our health kits. Even if there were a way to get an AI to stop healing you, that would be an improvement, because being forced to hold still while the AI heals you while you get spit on by a Spitter isn't fun for anyone.

Sara(h) Frown

2010-04-21T13:24:00.005-04:00

Like an erupting Icelandic volcano of a bad outfit, I've been having to endure Anna Grímsdóttir's clothes from Splinter Cell: Conviction for the last week. I get that this game isn't sexy James Bond shaken cocktails with evil henchmen that are ladies in bikinis riding jet skis and brandishing harpoon guns, but what is going on with this lady's truly awful ensemble?

First of all, she's got her Britney Spears low-rise khakis with a chunky belt (by the way, Anna, your tween daughter has been looking for those and wants them back so she can wear them to the 'N Sync concert when she travels back in time to twelve years ago!). Then she's wearing a white shirt, which would be fine except for the wide tonal stripes which looks like someone took a paintroller with primer on it and ran it across her boobs vertically. The shirt really doesn't matter too much though because she's sporting a cropped collarless leather jacket which looks like it belongs on an In Living Color Fly Girl. And when I say cropped, I mean it pretty much stops before her ribs do, so all you see is her white shirt in her midsection (Anna, your daughter is also looking to get the jacket back too). On top of the jacket she has her giant beige gun holster, which is only surprising in that it's not black. Really? She couldn't find a discrete holster to blend in with her jacket? I've seen a lot of bad outfits in video games, but this might be the worst, which is surprising because I would expect the worst to be Morrigan's terrible scarf/string top in Dragon Age: Origins, but no, it's definitely Anna's Forever 21 half-yearly discount factory outlet discontinued suburban mismatch from 1998.

Anyway, I've been working through the achievements for the game and most of them have been pretty easy. The achievements tied to completing in-game challenges are a little tedious because a lot of them require you to do something over and over, sometimes up to 50 times. The one that's the most frustrating for me right now is for completing a level without being detected and without retrying. I've tried it so many different ways and I just can't get it, which sucks because it's tied to two achievements and then a third for doing it on a Hunter map on the hardest difficulty. The other achievements I need to get are related to the Last Stand mode, which is like a horde mode, but with stealth, which kind of doesn't make sense for this game. I don't think Last Stand is very much fun so I probably won't persue them.

Sara(h) Smile

2010-04-14T14:32:00.005-04:00

I'm back from vacation and I played a little Borderlands and Left 4 Dead 2 on Monday and it took me a bit to get used to looking around on a screen without getting dizzy.

I picked up Splinter Cell: Conviction yesterday and it's kind of awesome. At first it reminded me a little of Batman, but with a lot less cape. Now that I'm pretty well into it, it feels like its own game. I really like the stealthy part and using your last know location as bait to get your enemies positioned so you can sneak up behind them and break their necks. There's a bunch of guns but I've been sticking to the same pistol, since the game seems to be more about outwitting the enemy rather than overpowering them. I also like throwing the sticky camera, making it play a tune to lure an enemy, and then blowing it up in their face. It took a bit to get used to the controls — I've never used the left stick to reload a gun before — but now it's fine and the combat is fun.

As for the story, you're tracking down the killer of your daughter, Sarah, and then the story goes off from there and makes little sense to me. You do a level and then you beat some dude up and it turns out he's just working for someone else you have to go beat up. I'm never really sure why I'm infiltrating and killing or who the dude at the end is. It also seems like your friends already know the answers to the questions you're punching out of someone. Anyway, I didn't really come for storytime, I just want to shoot people in the face, so that's all okay.

Smashy, smashy

2010-03-18T13:16:00.005-04:00

I've mostly only played Borderlands as a Siren, so I decided to work on another character in a different class. I chose to go with the Berserker because his special punching ability reminds me of my character from Fallout 3 that only used her fists, Tabitha "The Smasher" Spumoni. I'm used to using the Siren's phasewalk to escape enemies when I'm overwhelmed, so it's taken a little getting used to using the Berserker's punches to get yourself out of trouble before it begins. He also specializes in rocket launchers, but I haven't been putting any points towards them because I've been using the shotgun, since I've been staying close to enemies during combat in case I want to start punching them. So while the game is the same, using a different class makes the combat pretty different.

Springtime for gamesez

2010-03-10T08:20:00.004-05:00

I'm without a new game right now, so I'm looking ahead to what's coming next. Here's the list:

Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening (March 16). After a Dragon Age frenzy back when it came out, I revisted the game and decided it was just okay. I'll probably still pick this up though, since there are so few new releases I'm interested in.

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction (April 13). While I've never played any of the other games in this series, I'm kind of excited to check this out.

Red Dead Redemption (May 18). I don't know a lot about this besides it's a Western, it's sandbox-style, and it's made by Rockstar. I never played the first one.

Alan Wake (May 28). I'm still keeping my eye on this one.

Fallout: New Vegas (October 1). I really hope this doesn't get pushed back to next year. The screens I saw look exactly like Fallout 3, which is okay since that game is pretty awesome.

Then there's some games that are scheduled for later this year, but who knows when they'll come out for realsies: Portal 2, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II, I Am Alive, Fable III, Halo: Reach, Dead Space 2, Rock Band 3.

Hairbow optional

2010-03-10T08:04:00.003-05:00

Four Lady Gaga songs are coming to Rock Band next Tuesday. I'm guessing Lady Gaga is fitting into the Rock Band library because of LEGO Rock Band and it's more pop-friendly soundtrack. The songs are "Bad Romance," "Just Dance," "Monster," and "P-P-P-P-Poker Face." While I can't stand her music, I can see these being fun to do at the end of the night when we're too drunk to do Alanis Morissette songs.

I did pick up the two The Futureheads songs that came out for Rock Band yesterday, "Decent Days and Nights" and their cover of "Hounds of Love." There was also a White Stripes track pack, but after being less than thrilled with the other White Stripes songs I picked up, I've decided to wait for group consensus.

Fracking awesome

2010-03-10T07:50:00.000-05:00

The Bonfire of the Vanities

2010-03-02T11:40:00.005-05:00

After finishing The Saboteur, I jumped into the new DLC for Assassin's Creed II, The Bonfire of the Vanities. After the ease of the controls in The Saboteur, I struggled to reaquaint myself with controlling Ezio. The controls felt awkward compared to The Saboteur and I often got frustrated that Ezio seemed like he wasn't doing what I told him. I also thought the DLC was annoying and highlighted the weakness of the game. I would keep failing an assassination and have to start over and endure listening to my target's speech over and over. At one point, I turned the sound off so I wouldn't have to listen to it anymore. After The Saboteur's do-it-how-you-like attitude to Assassin's Creed II's you-must-do-it-this-way gameplay, I really did not enjoy the DLC.

Cent pour cent, les bitchez!

2010-03-02T11:13:00.003-05:00

I finished The Saboteur last weekend. I don't understand why the reviews for it are sort of tepid, it's a really fun game. I unlocked all of the achievements, but left three or four Nazi installations back in Germany just so that the game will never really be over, because I like it so much.

Happiness is a warm gun (that also shoots acid)

2010-03-02T10:20:00.007-05:00

Borderlands was probably my favorite game last year (although now that I've finished The Saboteur it might be more like one of my two favorite games last year). I like the art direction, humor, and that you can play as a class that has powers. I'm less wild about the occasional arena combat missions, but there aren't very many of them and they aren't too difficult. I loved the first DLC, The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned — full of zombies and brains, what's not to love? Then they released Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot, which is all arena combat, all the time, and goes on forever. I wasn't able to get through one map, which is five rounds of five waves each. I got really frustrated and put it away.

They just released The Secret Armory of General Knoxx, which I like but also have some gripes about. I'm glad it's a return to mission-based combat, with only one arena. They also raised the level cap, and despite struggling at the beginning, I was soon kicking ass again once I leveled up a bit.

It also helped that I found the AX11 Pestilent Defiler, a bad ass pistol that shoots bullets and acid. I've been playing as a Siren, with the special ability to phasewalk, which I mostly use as a panic button when I'm overwhelmed by enemies. I had mostly been using an SMG and sniper as my weapons of choice, but I was getting limited success when I got to the higher levels. I decided to try this pistol because of its rarity and suddenly enemies were melting in a puddle of corrosive acid in three or four shots. Combined with a class modifier that increases corrosive damage, I was soon wiping the maps clean of enemies. Where had this gun been all my life?

I finished the General Knoxx DLC, well, mostly finished since there's an impossible secret bonus enemy that's just too ridiculous. I gave him two attempts, but after getting shoved of a cliff both times without doing any damage, I've given up. It might be designed for co-op play or something but I'm not interested.

That's one of my complaints about the DLC, my other complaint is that once you finish the main story, some of the side missions are to go back and do everything over again, but this time they track how many types of kills you get. Or you have to keep revisiting the same area and kill everything again. It's all seems like really lazy game design, which is too bad because otherwise the DLC is good.

Anyway, after finishing General Knoxx I decided to give Moxxi's Underdome another try with my new kickass pistol in hand. I pretty much breezed though the first map — five rounds of five waves each — thanks to my gun and the fact I'm at level 61 now. Being able to level up some more allowed me to explore more options in the Siren's ability tree. Knowing what I know now, I would probably allocate her skill points a little differently, but I think she's pretty balanced. Anyway, I don't know if I'm going to be able to finish all of the Underdome, but I at least feel I have a chance to get through some of it.

"Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge. Fifteen!"

2010-02-18T10:42:00.004-05:00

I started The Saboteur last night. The opening scene, set in a topless nightclub (and not a pastie in sight), is totally over the top but it made me smile.

So far it's Grand Theft Auto meets Assassin's Creed and it's pretty enjoyable. You do GTA things like shoot people, steal cars, buy or steal guns, and Assassin's Creed things like climb buildings, hide from enemies, find treasure, and sneak up behind enemies and kill them. Some of the mechanics could be a little slicker, like climbing buildings is sort of tedious, since you have to keep pressing A to move forward — unlike Assassin's Creed where you just keep moving up — but the game's sandbox style and ability to kill Nazis anytime you like is awesome. I've only done a few missions mostly because you can just wander around Paris destroying Nazi military sites and rescuing citizens from asshole Nazis, which is really enjoyable. There's nothing quite as satisfying as coming up behind a Nazi harassing an old lady and breaking his neck.

Zune Phone Windows Phone 7

2010-02-17T17:05:00.005-05:00

Oh yeah, I forgot to say "thank you" to Microsoft for doing the thing I asked about turning your Zune into a phone. Looks nice, you should be proud. I hope your partners' hardware comes out as nicely as your software. Can't wait to ditch my iPhone and especially AT&T.

Anyway, I understand that you're integrating Xbox Live into the phone but the details on that are sort of vague still. Maybe that means you aren't quite done, which is fine. I'd like to suggest that my new Windows Phone 7 phone will be able to tell me when my friends on Xbox send me an invite to join a game. Sometimes I leave my Xbox on while I go make dinner and don't check until it's too late. Just an idea. Also, I'd like to be able to use my Fallout 3 theme in the Xbox section of my Windows Phone 7 phone.

As you can see, it's Fashion Week...

2010-02-17T16:45:00.006-05:00

After playing the frustratingly craptastic demo of Aliens vs. Predator, I had a sick craving to see Aliens, one of my favorite movies of all time. When I got home from work yesterday, I figured I would just stream it over Netflix, but of course Netflix only streams crappy movies ("They mostly stream crap... mostly.") and Criterion movies that you have to be in the correct mood to enjoy — never what you want to see when you want to see it. I thought maybe I already owned the Aliens DVD but then I remembered that I have it recorded on a VHS cassingle 8-track Betamax tape and I don't even own a VCR anymore. I went to Best Buy today and I picked up the trilogy, even though the third movie sucks, because it was only $20. Anyway, my point is that Netflix needs to stream every fucking movie I want to watch. Get your shit together, Netflix! You can't survive on House Bunny alone!

The Saboteur

2010-02-17T14:29:00.004-05:00

The Saboteur sort of fell off my radar because of so many good games coming out back to back (Borderlands, Left 4 Dead 2, Dragon Age, Assassin's Creed II, Mass Effect 2, BioShock 2) and all the DLC and stuff. Also, the lukewarm reviews sort of helped me lose interest.

Well, now it's February. I finished Dragon Age several times, played the hell out of Left 4 Dead 2, finished Assassin's Creed II (and don't expect the DLC that comes out tomorrow, Bonfire of the Vanities, to take much time if it's anything like The Battle of Forlì). I'm kind of still working on my Mass Effect 2 playthough on Insanity, but I quickly get frustrated that I'm always out of heat coil thingys and don't really enjoy it. BioShock 2 only lasted me a few days and I'm disappointed and uninterested in the multiplayer. The next batch of games I'm interested in don't come out until April (Red Dead Redemption, Splinter Cell: Conviction, and Alan Wake), so I don't really have a game right now.

Anyway, I looked at the reviews for The Saboteur again and I kept hearing that it's a little ridiculous and maybe not everything works great but that killing Nazis is fun, which makes it a fun game. And since the price has dropped for used copies, I've decided I'm going to pick it up on the way home.

"They mostly come at night... mostly."

2010-02-16T07:48:00.007-05:00

My friends that I play Left 4 Dead 2 with were raving about the demo for Aliens vs. Predator, so I downloaded it and tried it out. In the demo, it's a first-person free-for-all multiplayer where you play as either a marine with guns, a predator that can turn invisible (I never saw any of those movies), or an alien that can walk on walls and ceilings. I was excited by the idea of playing as an alien from Aliens, one of my favorite-est movies ever, but almost immediately hated the game.

The map all looks the same, it's very symmetrical with no landmarks that make any passageway distinct, so there's no way to tell your friends where you are. When you see an enemy there's nothing to tell you who they are, so it's impossible to identify your friends unless they're like, "I'm the predator jumping up and down." Since the alien can walk like a spider, it's very easy to quickly get disorientated moving from wall to ceiling and the bland map doesn't help since the floors, walls, and ceiling all look the same. The combat mechanic is very confusing. For the humans, pulling the trigger shoots your gun, but for the alien the right and left bumpers are your attacks. I would get in a fight with someone and couldn't tell what was going on and would only be saved by luck and button mashing or I would be dead. Even if I was doing well, I would get frustrated because I still didn't understand what I was doing that was working.

The one thing I do sort of like is that if you sneak up behind someone you can grab and kill them, a stealth kill. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to complete the kill and leaves you open to getting killed yourself while you're doing it. I would say more than half of my successful kills came from attacking enemies that were engaged with other enemies.

From all my time playing Valve multiplayer games like Left 4 Dead and Team Fortress 2, I've come to understand that it's important to see how and why you died in order to get better. In the Alien vs. Predator demo, I would often be killed with no idea what just happened. Even my friends that are getting the game were also frustrated by it, which made me wonder why they're getting it. If I want to be frustrated, I can just keep playing my Insanity playthrough of Mass Effect 2.

Where is the off switch on this radio?

2010-02-13T07:35:00.004-05:00

I finished my Hard playthrough of BioShock 2 without using Vita-Chambers with no problems. After my initial struggle with my first Big Sister, the game kept getting easier. By the end, I was overpowered and it was too easy. I harvested all the Little Sisters instead of rescuing them (but I spared all the people you encounter), because I was worried I wouldn't have enough ADAM, but it turns out that wasn't going to be a problem since I was buying upgrades towards the end just to use my ADAM up. I think I only upgraded the Insect Swarm plasmid to level three, the others were fine at level two or I didn't use them at all (like Decoy or Hypnotize). Especially after trying to work on my Insanity playthrough of Mass Effect 2, this game is way too easy. I ended up doing a second playthrough where I rescued all the Little Sisters. I still had more ADAM than I knew what to do with.

Also, by the end, Sofia Lamb and her constant radio messages were driving me nuts. I just wanted her to stop talking. Where is the Bitch, Shut Up plasmid when you need it?

I also spent some more time with the multiplayer and worked my way up to level ten. I've played a lot of multiplayer in games like Halo 3, Team Fortress 2, and Left 4 Dead 2 and compared to those games the multiplayer in BioShock 2 feels tacked on and broken. Besides the fact that I had a hard time differentiating my enemies from my teammates, I feel like the game's art direction doesn't suit multiplayer maps at all. I played the same map several times and it always felt like I was playing it for the first time, since I was always lost. I probably won't be wasting any more time with the multiplayer when I could be games like Left 4 Dead 2.

Anyway, I like BioShock 2 as much as I liked the first one. Some of the charm of the first game might be missing, but that might be because it didn't ever feel new. All the things I liked about the first game are there, I just already liked them before.

The Secret Armory of General Knoxx

2010-02-11T08:09:00.003-05:00

I missed that they announced new DLC for Borderlands, one of my favorite games of last year, back in January. While I kind of hated the last DLC, Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot, I'm optimistic that The Secret Armory of General Knoxx will be a return to awesome.

Big Sister, I'm not saying that outfit makes you look fat but...

2010-02-11T07:53:00.003-05:00

I've gotten further in BioShock 2 and I'm doing much better against the Big Sisters and Big Daddies. I fully upgraded my drill and I got a tonic that sometimes freezes enemies when I strike them with it, which has been very handy (I think the first game has a tonic like that for the wrench). I've pretty much only been using the drill, and sometimes I start a Big Daddy or Big Sister battle with some trap rivets and then machine gun, but I always end it with plasmids and the drill. I seem to remember pretty much only using the wrench in the first game and I guess the drill is the Big Daddy equivalent.

I rescued the first Little Sister but decided I need the Adam too much, so I've been harvesting the hell out of the rest I've found. Now that I've upgraded a little bit, I don't feel so underpowered, but I'm still saving before and after every event because all it takes is one Splicer you don't notice to knock your health out and kill you before you use a first-aid kit.

"Twenty-four hour shoooopping in RAPTURRRE"

2010-02-10T11:25:00.008-05:00

I started BioShock 2 yesterday. I looked over the achievements and decided to play it on the hardest difficulty and to avoid using the Vita-Chambers. That might be a little too ambitious, since I've encountered my first Big Sister battle and she keeps kicking my ass. I've come really close to taking her down, but I always run out of first-aid kits and plasmid ammo. I'm going to try a few more times before I abandon not using the Vita-Chambers.

So far it's pretty much exactly like the first BioShock. Being a Big Daddy this time doesn't seem that different, you still have plasmids and weapons. The melee attack with the drill is pretty nice and that's what I've been using the most. The biggest difference I've noticed so far is hacking: it's a meter instead of the pipes minigame. I'm not sure if I like it but I've been saving before and after every device I hack because it's not exactly easy.

I also played two games of the multiplayer. I had a hard time telling who my enemies were, since the only thing that differentiates them is the color of their name floating around them, which means you have to see it to know. The maps felt very small and condensed and I couldn't figure out how to heal. I guess it's like Call of Duty multiplayer, which I only played once and totally hated. I'm not ready to give up on it yet, and might revisit it once I finish the singleplayer, but it seems like if you don't keep moving up in rank, you're going to get creamed by people that have been playing it all along.

UPDATE: I got home from work and killed that Big Sister on my first try, without dying, and unlocked the Unbreakable achievement. This time I used the trap rivets as I ran away from her, backed her into a corner, and used my drill to kill the fuck out of her. Oh, and the vending machine don't say cute things anymore. So much for killing my cravings at the Circus of Values... I'll just quietly purchase my goods and be on my way, silently.

How do you solve a problem like Zaeed?

2010-02-09T09:25:00.004-05:00

I was continuing my Insanity playthrough of ME2 last night and decided to get ol' glass eye Zaeed's loyalty mission out of the way, mostly because I need the money you find and earn to buy upgrades. I got stuck at the end again, running out of ammo thingys by the time the robot showed up. I used my invisibility cloak to hide while I scrounged for goodies and exited the room, skipping his bitch ass entirely. I literally ran out of ammo for all my guns and had to run out of cover to get more, which is kind of totally lame. Also, in one of the side rooms that has a respawning heat sink, it wouldn't let me pick it up. I much prefer the infinite ammo with overheating weapons in the first game. It would be nice if you could choose between the two ammo mechanics.

I'm only about a third of the way through, and I start BioShock 2 today, so I'm not sure when I'm going to finish this playthrough.

Oh, and I heard that new armor and a new shotgun are available for free starting this afternoon through the Cerebus Network. I've been using my own mix-and-match armor, so I can use the visor that gives you a little headshot damage boost, but I might switch to the Collector armor because it's called something like Cheetor armor, and I could use a little cheating right about now.

Rock Band for iPhone

2010-02-07T16:06:00.004-05:00

I downloaded the free version of Rock Band for the iPhone and was surprised that it's not bad. You only get to try one song, "Learn to Fly" by Foo Fighters, but you can choose from all four instruments. There are only four buttons, so it only goes to Hard, not Expert, but it has chords and Starpower. Unfortunately, the vocals are tapping and not pitch recognition like it is in the real game. Drums feel like playing the guitar part since there's no kick drum. Also, it seems like the note highway doesn't always move so smoothly. I did enjoy playing the guitar though, but maybe not enough to purchase the full version.

Broken Social Scene

2010-02-07T15:57:00.003-05:00

I was so nervous that it would be sold out, but I managed to get tickets to see Broken Social Scene at Webster Hall in May, which is the same place I saw them when they toured for Kevin Drew's "solo" album. Less abra-ca-blab-ra and more music this time, please.

Return for your money to Ostagar

2010-02-07T15:42:00.004-05:00

I also got around to playing the Dragon Age DLC, Return to Ostagar, and it felt really short. It's not much of a story and it was over pretty quickly. It seems like something they should have added into the game as a side mission since it's not really as substantial as two other DLCs, The Stone Prisoner or Warden's Peak. Kinda weak.

The Battle of Forlì: Over before it begins

2010-02-07T15:35:00.004-05:00

I finally got around to playing the Assassin's Creed II DLC, The Battle of Forlì. I killed quite a few guards that were supposed to be on my side, because it was hard to tell what was going on, but I got through it fine. And then it was over, I think. I got dropped off outside Florence and I had no idea if I was still supposed do something or if that was it. Maybe the next DLC will solve this riddle or maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention. I do enjoying stabbing with those hidden blades though.

Invisiblah

2010-02-07T15:18:00.003-05:00

So I decided to give my Insanity playthrough of Mass Effect 2 another shot. I was stuck on the prison ship trying to recruit the convict and couldn't get past the second giant robot because by the time I got to it, I was almost out of ammo from taking out all the goons. I tried again but this time I just ran through it using the Infiltrator's invisibility cloak and got to the next door where it does an autosave. Yay! For the final area I just concentrated on taking out the boss, which ends the mission no matter how many other bad guys are alive, so having a sniper rifle totally helped. I hope this playthough doesn't turn into a Call of Duty moment where I get stuck on some impossibly hard part and have to give up, because now I've invested some time into it.

The only other achievement I'm missing is for warping 25 enemy barriers. I've been bringing sucky Miranda along on missions, and I tell her to warp the barriers, but it's not counting towards it. I might go back to my Xylophone Shepard playthrough to get it since he's an Adept. Like they say, if you want something done right, go to your other career and do it yourself.

30

2010-02-04T09:27:00.005-05:00

I was working on my failed second playthrough of ME2 last night, hoping to work my way up to level 60 on Normal before doing a third playthrough on Insanity, when I decided to check in on Commander Stacey Shepard's level. I thought it was strange that I was right before the first encounter with the Collectors but still at level 30, which is where I ended up when I finished my first playthrough. Then I noticed that it wasn't showing me how many points I needed to get to the next level because 30 is the level cap (unlike ME1). So I've been wasting my time. Fortunately I did a save before I switched from Insanity to Normal, so I guess I can go back and try again, except I don't really feel like it because Insanity is kind of too fucking difficult for the game to still be fun.

I might move on to the Assassin's Creed II and Dragon Age DLC that I haven't played yet and then it will be time for BioShock 2.

Abandon ship. Launch escape pods

2010-02-03T11:31:00.004-05:00

I had to abandon my Insanity playthrough in Mass Effect 2 again because I got stuck trying to rescue Jack from the prison ship. I kept having to restart one section and got frustrated because I felt so underpowered — every enemy had shields and my bullets, even with special ammo, had very little effect. I'm hopeful that if I continue this playthrough on Normal, and then try again on a third playthrough with a fully leveled up Commander Stacey Shepard, that I'll be able to complete it on Insanity. Also, I won't have to yell at my TV anymore.

Insane insanity

2010-02-02T13:53:00.003-05:00

I restarted my second playthrough of ME2 on Insanity with Commander Stacey Shepard. I finished out my first playthrough at level 30, so it's better than trying to start a playthrough at this difficulty with a character at level 5, but it's still really hard. Parts that I breezed through on Normal have become epic battles to stay alive. The AI is driving me nuts because my teammates keep running toward enemies and going down. I got so pissed at them while trying to defend Archangel that I sent them to the back of the room for a timeout to think about how much they were annoying me. That ended up being a good idea because they were able to guard the staircase behind me so I could concentrate on not getting killed again.

Anyway, I'm going to try and stick with this playthrough on Insanity, but I think it might be a little ambitious at my level and might have to save it for a third playthrough when Stacey has completely leveled up. We'll see.

RE: Away Missions

2010-02-02T13:40:00.005-05:00

Dear Normandy Away Teams:

On some of our most recent away missions, I've noticed that some of you (I'm looking at you Miranda and Jacob) like to run towards enemy combatants and wander into enemy fire. This is a note to let you know that I'd like you to knock it the fuck off.

Medi-gel doesn't grow on trees and I get annoyed that I have to spend my time worrying about your proximity to enemy fire and that I might have to revive you again. Please keep in mind that our missions are now Insanely difficult and I'm tired of being the last lady standing when the battle is over.

Sincerely,

Commander Stacey Shepard

P.S. I'm totally fucking serious, bitchez!

Have you ever noticed how Batarians drive like this and Salarians drive like this? Am I right, ladies?

2010-02-01T12:46:00.008-05:00

I finished my first playthrough of Mass Effect 2 this weekend. While I like the game, I wish it had more combat and side missions. I also wish the planet scanning was combined with the old school land-on-planet-to-explore method in the first game — maybe use the scanning for gas planets and the rover for planets that are safe to land on. I feel like the game is 85% getting all the people on your team and getting them loyal and only 10% is fighting the main bad guys. The other 5% is the side missions involving some runaway robots. Especially with two discs, it feels like the game should be more than it is. I seem to remember ME1 having a lot more missions and having them be more in-depth. I really like the final suicide mission but wish it was longer.

I had to replay the final mission for the No One Left Behind achievement because I had some losses and one of them was one of my favorite companions. Nooooooooo! Not Legion! Noooooooo!

I started a second game by importing Xylophone Shepard from ME1 to get the achievement for playing on the Insanity difficulty setting. I think it might be too difficult with a character with that low of a level so I'm going to abandon him and go back to Stacey for a second playthrough with her. I had switched her from Adept to Infiltrator, and the sniper and cloak are really kick-ass, but I might switch her back to Adept if I can because I like using powers. I'm pretty sure I can train her to use a sniper at the point in the game when I had the option to train in other weapons, which is where I made the mistake of picking up a sniper rifle I ended up hating.

UPDATE: Turns out you can't change the class of your ME2 character for a second playthrough. Oh well.

The bitch is back

2010-01-28T11:32:00.004-05:00

I started Mass Effect 2 as my first character from the first game, Commander Stacey Shepard, the no-eyebrow lady bad ass inspired by Kevin Aviance. After importing her into the game I decided to switch her class from Adept to Infiltrator because I was enticed by the Infiltrator's new (?) cloaking ability and sniper rifle specialization.

So far the game is pretty good, and all the changes they made over the first game (including ideas that seem to be borrowed from other games) are welcome. Having to manage your fuel consumption makes me a little nervous that I'll get stranded in a bad space neighborhood if I run out of gas, but it gives me the feeling I'm more in charge of what's going on. The one thing I miss is a radar (which I think the first game had but I can't remember for sure), but it's not a dealbreaker. I've spent most of my time so far scanning planets for minerals, which is kind of a relaxing thing to do in the morning while enjoying a cappuccino before work, and haven't spent a lot of time in combat. I want to keep up with my Left 4 Dead 2 Versus crew, so I'm planning on trading off between the two games. We'll see how long that lasts.

1 vs. 2

2010-01-19T11:09:00.003-05:00

I've been seriously addicted to Versus mode in Left 4 Dead 2 and have a regular crüe that I play with. I never really played much Versus in the first game because I quickly got bored of the three types of special infected. Left 4 Dead's 2 expanded range of special infected and the way their attacks can be used together is much more fun. Last night we decided to have a go at the original Left 4 Dead with disastrous results (we aren't used to losing, especially by so much). It quickly became clear that Valve had significantly improved Versus mode over the old game. Compared to Left 4 Dead 2, the special infected seem incredibly underpowered. And while I didn't like that they had adjusted the ability to shove zombies back when playing as a survivor in Left 4 Dead 2, when playing as a zombie in the first game the shoving is a little out of control and makes it extremely difficult to inflict significant damage. I don't know if we've given up on it completely, but we'll be sticking with Left 4 Dead 2.

But one thing I like about the maps in Left 4 Dead is that they're at night. I was actually startled by a zombie that I encountered on a dark road when playing as the survivors. I hope that Valve releases more maps for Left 4 Dead 2 that are at night. I'm not sure exactly what The Crossing, the DLC coming out in April, is but I hope that it somehow gives you the ability to play the maps in the first Left 4 Dead in Left 4 Dead 2.

Where no man has gone anymore...

2010-01-16T15:27:00.002-05:00

I've been enjoying watching the first season of the original Star Trek series through Netflix on my Xbox for the past week. I went to watch another one today only to find it had been removed from my Watch Instantly queue because it's no longer available for streaming. I don't know what the deal is with licensing for streaming or whatever but if Netflix wants to expand their business beyond DVDs in the mail, they need to get their shit together. While I would probably never rent the discs, it was the perfect thing to pop on while I made dinner or before I went to bed. Boo.

10.6.2

2010-01-16T15:06:00.004-05:00

I finally got around to upgrading my Hackintosh's OS to 10.6.2. Back when the update came out, people who downloaded it had their machines brick because the processor wasn't supported anymore (or something like that — something, something, something, computers). I found the directions for installing an updated Netbook Installer and decided to do it. I was nervous that I was going to brick it, and I did have issues with no sound until I rebooted and re-ran the installer again, but everything turned out fine in the end (so far, at least). Then I downloaded and ran the most recent and final installer just to make sure I had all the latest bug fixes and also installed Apple software updates that were waiting for me to upgrade to the latest version of the OS. I passed the info on to my Dad, who actually uses his Hackintosh for his investment club meetings, so he can update his.

17 days too late

2010-01-16T10:20:00.004-05:00

I was looking at achievements I could work on this morning and realized that I still hadn't gotten around to downloading the DLC that came out a few months ago for Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2. I wasn't too excited for the characters they added for the DLC, except for maybe Magneto, who was in the other game anyway (as well as in X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse), so I didn't get it right when it came out. Anyway, I searched the marketplace for it this morning and it's gone. I then searched the forums on the game's site and learned that the contract between the developers and Marvel expired on January 1, so I guess this means it's gone forever. Lame.

Reloading!

2010-01-05T13:15:00.004-05:00

As I've been playing Left 4 Dead 2 multiplayer, I've noticed the better players I've encountered tend to favor the game's new sniper rifle. In the first game, I never used the hunting rifle (now the tier one sniper) and usually stuck to the assault rifle. In L4D2 I've been favoring the old assault rifle, the new AK-47, the old auto shotgun, and the new Magnum (when I'm not using a melee weapon). Over the weekend I tried the sniper rifle out and fell in love with it. Like the Magnum, the sniper rifle is a one-shot kill on common infected. I first used it during a co-op campaign with some friends and not only did I kill the most zombies, but I had the highest accuracy. Now my favorite combination is sniper rifle/Magnum or sniper rifle/crowbar (if I'm in a melee mood). I like the crowbar as a melee weapon because it takes up less screen than some of the other melee weapons and it reminds me of Half-Life 2.

Mad Moxxi's Underwhelming Riot

2010-01-05T13:03:00.003-05:00

I downloaded Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot, the new DLC for Borderlands, and after giving it a couple of tries I've decided I don't really like it. The arena fights are my least favorite parts of the main game, so a DLC of just arena fights is the opposite of what I want. Since I bought it, I feel like I need to play it, but I'm putting it away for now and plan to continue playing Left 4 Dead 2. I'm seriously addicted to the Versus mode and have found some good players to play with. I played it so much of it over my extended New Year's weekend that my trigger finger is sore, and considering the amount of time I spend playing games, that's saying something.

Left + 4 + Dead (2) = 100%

2010-01-02T14:01:00.006-05:00

I was able to unlock my remaining achievements in Left 4 Dead 2 yesterday for 100% completion. I like Versus mode much better this time around, since there's a better variety of special infected and they made it so their attacks work better when they're combined. I didn't expect to like this game as much as I do, despite the crappy AI that gets dumber as the difficulty gets harder.

Kaftan

2009-12-29T16:25:00.004-05:00

I've never bought anything for my avatar before, because it seems like a waste of money, but I couldn't pass up the kaftan. It's part of their holiday collection so I'm guessing it's somehow representing Kwanzaa or maybe one of the three wise kings (needs more myrrh). Anyway, now all my ~~Mrs. Roper~~ holiday dreams have come true.

Gameflakes: No two are exactly alike

2009-12-18T09:40:00.006-05:00

I've deeply immersed myself in Left 4 Dead 2 and I'm considering a playthrough of Oblivion over the holidays. I decided to make a little list of upcoming came stuff that interests me so I can keep track of what's happening.

The Beatles: Rock Band DLC: Rubber Soul (out now). I really don't play this game enough. I wish they would have added achievements for the DLC albums, since it would probably motivate me to spend more time with it.

Borderlands DLC: Mad Moxxi's Underdome Riot (December 29). More goodies for my favorite game of the year.

Dragon Age: Origins DLC: Return to Ostagar (December/January?). I sort of got an overdose of Dragon Age last month so I might wait on this a bit and do it as part of a complete playthrough.

Mass Effect 2 (January). I haven't been following the news about this too closely because I'd like to be surprised when I stick it in my console. I'm optimistic it will at least be as good as the first one.

Assassin's Creed II DLC: Battle for Forlì (January). I did not expect the Assassin's Creed sequel be as sharp as it turned out to be. I'm intrigued by the DLC for it, since I hear it includes a new move for Ezio, and I'm impressed with all the improvements they made over the first game.

BioShock 2 (February). I'm also purposefully avoiding news about this game because I want to be surprised. As long as it's as clever as the first one, I'll be satisfied. I'm a little wary of the idea of BioShock multiplayer, but I'm keeping an open mind.

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction (February). The timing of this will give me something to do before I head to Europe for a few weeks.

Assassin's Creed II DLC: Bonfire of the Vanities (February). Yay!

Alan Wake (April). Set your flashlights to stun, I guess. I don't know how into this I am, I'm just keeping it on my radar.

Left 4 Dead 2 DLC: The Passing (Spring). I hear it's going to include the four characters from the first game somehow. What I'd really like is for them to let me carry a melee weapon and the Magnum at the same time.

Fallout: New Vegas (June). I'm not holding my breath that this will really be out by June. I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes.

Napoleon Babin ran off like a coward

2009-12-15T13:56:00.007-05:00

I was playing through the Swamp Fever campaign in Left 4 Dead 2 by myself this morning on Advanced and was doing really well. I felt like the AI was able to keep up because the map doesn't have any of those running-the-gauntlet events (like the rollercoaster in Dark Carnival). I messed up the finale and we all died, but I felt like I could have made it with another try and that the Advanced difficulty feels like Normal to me now. I might be ready for Expert.

One thing that's driving me nuts about the game is that you're not allowed to carry a melee weapon as your primary weapon and the Magnum as your secondary weapon.

Artificial Unintelligence

2009-12-14T11:36:00.003-05:00

I played a lot of Left 4 Dead 2 over the weekend. I finally played it online with friends and had a much better experience than the singleplayer. I then went back and tried some more singleplayer and I've decided the AI is just terrible and it's become even more noticeable now that I've been playing on Advanced. Not only do the AI characters have a hard time keeping up with you, especially during climactic events (like the rollercoaster in Dark Carnival) when you really need their aid, but I've witnessed them standing still and not helping to fend off zombies on occasion. I really want to like this game, and the multiplayer is definitely fun, but the frustratingly stupid AI is making it difficult.

30,000

2009-12-11T11:54:00.004-05:00

Last night my gamerscore hit 30,000 while I was playing Left 4 Dead 2. One of the achievements I unlocked was the Guardin' Gnome achievement, where you carry an oversized garden gnome through the Dark Carnival Campaign (which is a tribute to the Little Rocket Man achievement in Half-Life 2: Episode Two). Unlocking this achievement also awards your Xbox avatar with Rochelle's pink Depeche Mode t-shirt.

The New Adventures of Old Rochelle

2009-12-08T12:40:00.004-05:00

I started Left 4 Dead 2 last night. I was playing alone on Normal so I could get introduced to the maps (but over the weekend I was playing the first game on Advanced to get warmed up for the sequel and was doing well). I thought the first campaign was okay and was enjoying the new melee weapons at first. Then I started to get annoyed when I felt like I would whack several zombies with an ax and not all of them would go down. Or maybe they did but I couldn't really see so well because of all the blood splattered on the screen. Anyway, I thought the end was a little anticlimactic and moved on.

On the second campaign, I got as far as outside the next safehouse were we were then overwhelmed by so many zombies that the other three AI characters died leaving me to go 12 more feet to the safehouse. I knew if I could hang on a little more I could close the door and we could continue. Unfortunately, the witch I had been hearing was sitting inside the doorframe to the safehouse and there was no way to proceed without pissing her off and I died. Since I was only playing on Normal, I considered this to be an unreasonable fuckover moment and shut the game off.

Anyway, here are some of my initial thoughts on Left 4 Dead 2:

While the new melee weapons are cool, the trade off of not being able to see so well when you're using them because of the splattered blood makes them not so fun. The chainsaw is almost worse because you can't hear special infected over the motor. Also, I feel like I should be able to carry a main weapon, a melee weapon, and a handgun just like another Valve game, Team Fortress 2.

They messed with the shove ability and now you have to wait before you can use it again. Not cool.

While I appreciate that they added more zombies, the hordes that happen after a major event, like an alarm going off, seem unbalanced in their size. I felt like the amount of zombies stayed the same after shutting of an alarm and at one point I wondered if I had actually even shut it off. It seems a little unbalanced.

They are less successful this time around in providing a semi-clear path to your next objective. I feel like in the first game they made better use of lighting to guide the way. I'll eventually learn all the maps but there were times in my first visit I had no idea where I was supposed to go next.

The inability to see from smoke or darkness or blood on your screen from melee weapons seems a little too extreme and unbalanced. For instance, a flashlight should produce some ambient light outside its beam, but in the game it's literally a cone of light shooting through the darkness

On Normal, I expect to see special infected with a certain amount of regularity. However, there was a point in my playthrough where it seemed like every third zombies was a special infected. It makes them less "special" when I see them all the time.

And did they make the AI dumber? I felt like they weren't keeping up with me. And if one of them lags behind for whatever reason, only one of the other ones need to go back for him, not both of them.

Anyway, I feel less irritated than I otherwise would be because I got the game on sale, but I'm sort of disappointed that Valve messed with something that wasn't broken. They're still on my list for fucking up the Xbox version of Team Fortress 2. Left 4 Dead is a fine game when you're in the mood for it. Left 4 Dead 2 feels like they added a bunch of stuff but tweaked the core gameplay too much and upset the balance. I'm not giving up on it but we're off to a rocky start.

Much ado about apples

2009-12-04T09:16:00.004-05:00

I finished Assassin's Creed II last night. I feel like the final boss battle was less dramatic than the first game (and much easier). I also wasn't really following the, um, "thing" you get at the end (I don't want to give anything away). Besides all that, I really enjoyed ~~Batman: Arkham Asylum~~ Assassin's Creed II, despite getting occasionally frustrated when Ezio seemed like he wasn't doing what I was telling him and a camera that sometimes seemed to work against me.

I managed to unlock all of the secret codes from the glyhps you find up until the three before the final code, without the use of the interwebs. For those last few, I was disappointed that I had to look the solutions up — I didn't know I needed a PhD in cryptography to play a video game. I also found a third of the feathers hidden in the game unaided, but I plan to use a guide to find the rest because they're tiny, hard to find, and Venice is huge.

Also, I wish I would have explored the combat trainer in front of the villa before I finished the game because, unlike the first game, he teaches you some new moves you otherwise wouldn't learn.

Crookers

2009-12-01T13:25:00.003-05:00

While playing through The Ballad of Gay Tony, I couldn't stop listening to ElectroChoc because of the new music on the station from Crookers. I especially like their song "No Security" with Kelis and their remix of Kid Cudi's "Day 'n' Nite."

MASTERPIECE LIQUIDATION OVERSTOCK BLOWOUT SALE SPECTACULAR!

2009-12-01T10:48:00.003-05:00

I started Assassin's Creed II last night. So far it feels like the first game, which isn't a bad thing, with all these other things tacked on to make it a lot more interesting this time around. A big piece of the game now is a commerce system, where you earn (and steal) florins and then use the cash to upgrade your property, which includes getting prostitutes for your town and buying fine art for your villa from vendors that look like booths at a county fair. Leonardo's Lady with Ermine was seriously only ƒ79 — a total steal! At that crazy low price, I would have bought two if there was another one available. Anyway, the new upgrading-your-property and buying-dye-to-change-the-color-of-your-clothes features reminds me an awful lot of another game (cough, Fable II, cough), but at least this time around you're collecting stuff in the game that has more value than the silly flags in the first game.

The combat has definitely improved from the first game, different enemies that have different tactics, health meters (yay!), a variety of weapons, as well as new stealth tactics like distracting guards with rented whores or throwing money into a crowd. Oh, and while I doubted the double hidden blade I saw in the previews would be useful, it turns out I was wrong and it's kind of awesome.

One surprising new twist is the random pickpocket and courier encounters. I first came across a pickpocket when I saw some dude running away from me with a marker over his head. I wasn't really sure what was going on so I chased him down. When I tackled him I got the notification that I had recovered my money as well as the other money the thief was carrying — I didn't even know I had been robbed. Here I am trying to make my way through the Renaissance, assassinating people so I can afford hookers for my hometown, and this asshole is taking my money. So now, instead of letting them hand over the money and escape, I kill all of the pickpockets because I take getting stolen from personally.

There's also a little more variety in the missions, like the secret vaults that are all platforming, but so far most of the missions feel like the first game, again, not necessarily a bad thing because there's enough new stuff to keep you distracted.

Also, I appreciate that they toned down the annoying people in the street — the mentally ill, drunks, and beggars in the first game — and replaced them with bards that are a lot less aggressive. I recall killing all of the mentally ill in the first game just because they irritated me so much.

One thing that's sort of weird is the new notoriety system. You do some bad stuff, people start to notice, word gets around town, the cops are looking for you, you have to find a way to turn the heat on you down. There are three ways to do this: bribe the town criers, kill the people talking about you, or tear down wanted posters. Now you would think removing the wanted posters would be the easiest way to do this, but for some reason they aren't all hung at eye level on the street. In fact, most of them are in weird locations above the street at the second story level so you have to hunt them down to destroy them. Why would anyone hang a wanted poster where no one can see it? I guess this is where you're supposed to suspend disbelief that your wanted poster hanging next to a second story window is a danger to you and just tear it down for the sake of the gameplay. Clearly they had a good idea and maybe didn't iron out the execution of it in the game so well.

Anyway, this game is definitely an improvement over the first one while keeping the stuff that made it a moderately fun game intact. It's also reminding me of Fable II and Batman: Arkham Asylum, which are games I also liked, so I'm looking forward to continuing to trick out my crib with more Leonardos and make more friends with prostitutes (for a small fee, of course) as I stab people with knives hidden in my sleeves.

Braaaaaaaaaaaaains!

2009-11-30T12:55:00.003-05:00

Between the drug wars in The Ballad of Gay Tony, dragon slaying in Dragon Age, and rocking out/DJing out/Beatling out on Friday, I also found time to get through the Borderlands DLC, The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned. It's as well done as the rest of the game is and I completely enjoyed it. I hope they release more DLC for Borderlands because I think it's one of the best games I've played all year.

I let the knife do the thinking

2009-11-30T12:45:00.003-05:00

I wasn't sure if I was going to pick up Left 4 Dead 2, since I don't play the first one very often. I downloaded the demo and became a little more interested when I came across my first melee weapon, a frying pan. I decided it was more funny than effective against zombies and went back to my shotgun. Then I found a machete and so thoroughly enjoyed getting all Crocodile Dundee on the zombies, that I decided to add the game to my cart when I was ordering some X-mas stuff from Amazon. I should be Ginsu-ing some zombies in the next few days.

Needs less parachutes

2009-11-30T12:29:00.002-05:00

After unlocking all the achievements in Dragon Age, I finally got around to finishing The Ballad of Gay Tony. Of the three DLCs for GTA IV, I think it's my least favorite. I wasn't digging the story, I was often confused why Luis was working with other people (especially when they all badmouthed his boss all the time) and wasn't clear who they were exactly, and the use of parachuting got a little ridiculous the more it was used. I did enjoy the side missions with the drug wars though, probably because it was more like what I expect from Grand Theft Auto.

"Oh my goodness."

2009-11-23T14:21:00.004-05:00

I Call Him Zandar's post-Thanksgiving extravaganza is this Friday night. We'll have a ton of new songs for Rock Band (including The Bangles, weeeeee!), Abbey Road and Sgt. Pepper's for The Beatles: Rock Band, and maybe a little DJ Hero-ing. A larger version of this hideous flyer is here.

This week in Top Models in Action

2009-11-23T11:53:00.005-05:00

I played through all of the other origin storylines in Dragon Age this weekend (to unlock the achievements). I enjoyed the dwarf noble story, where I was Sharniece, the sassy noble dwarf warrior, and especially liked the city elf story, which I happened to play as a female elf warrior that I named Ox (for some reason that name and the names of a few other characters didn't stick when I created them). The city elf story's ending was particularly satisfying when played as a lady with a giant sword and I searched every room to ensure that every man was dead.

For the all but one of the origin storylines, I only played as far as getting to the Grey Warden camp. I've started my next playthrough as Zexy Zex (inspired by The Simpsons episode where Lucy Lawless says, "Xena needs xex."), the untouchable Dwarf rogue and I've been playing on Normal. The gameplay is pretty different from being a mage, and he has this one move that I love where he looks like he's going to strike the enemy with his weapon, but then suddenly kicks him in the crotch instead.

Thank you, Yolanda, but our Darkspawn is in another castle

2009-11-20T08:47:00.006-05:00

I finally finished my first playthrough of Dragon Age last night. The worst part wasn't fighting the Archdemon and his hordes at the end, it was the fact the game got all Jerry Springer and my character, Yolanda, got dumped by her boyfriend and then her best girlfriend asked for help getting him to get her pregnant. Yolanda was all like, "Screw both of you, literally."

In the last couple of battles I tried assigning actions to my party members for the first time (mostly telling them to drink some health potion because I'm sick of using my magic to revive their bitch asses). It only took me 60 hours of gameplay to figure that out.

After I go back to an earlier save and replay for the different endings, I might take a break before I start a new playthrough as a Rogue. As much as I struggled in the beginning with my Mage character, I'm going to miss her kick ass spells like Death Cloud and Blizzard.

Mmm... dragon-y...

2009-11-19T13:58:00.006-05:00

BioWare has announced more DLC for Dragon Age, which is supposed to be out next month. Not only have I not finished one playthrough, I only completed the free DLC, The Stone Prisoner (Shale, the companion you get from it, has turned out to be super useful), and haven't even bothered to download Warden's Keep yet (because I wasn't sure I liked the game). It's a little crazy how long this game is and that it's not done growing.

Everyday I hate you less and less

2009-11-19T11:11:00.004-05:00

I'm slowly starting to like Dragon Age more than I did. I've already put a lot of hours into the game, yet I'm still not done with my first playthrough, so when I finally do finish it I'll probably take a break and play something else before I start a new playthrough. It's no Oblivion, but it's not a bad game either.